Skeletor Rib

Phew, that was a close shave!!!!!!!! Had to quickly conjure up a cure to rid myself of the rotten Dog Soldier infected flesh before the undead could haul me into a life of savage eternity! I found the antidote in a mixture of human stem cells, a rare biological form of liquid silver and a smattering of microscopic crucifixes which, upon intravenous injection, appeared to revive the blighted tissue. (This is why I could not come to Auchinstarry on Sunday!)

Now, I shall begin the story on a blustery evening where the full moon illuminated the snow covered peaks and an eerie wind raced through the glens. Two eager punters set out for a lonely bivvy and a long mountaineering day with the Lower and Upper Couloirs of Stob Ghabhar in their sights as a gentle introduction to winter mountaineering for the Munro enthusiast Willie ‘pencilheed’ Rowell. But there was a chill in the air and a disturbing congregation of police as we passed by en route to the Inn, ‘what the feck are they upto?’ says I. Didn’t really bother us ‘til we had feverishly devoured our dinner at the Inn and were about to be on our way when a large wolf like creature flashed passed the window. This was followed by the cheery Landlady waltzing in to announce that the police activity was due to the fact that a body had been found in the woods. ‘Have a nice night boys!’ she whines as she sends us away into the murky night….

Ice axes in hand we set off, ears pricked and vision doubled by several beverages, every creek of the bushes or crunch underfoot brought fear to our hearts as we hurriedly marched into the wilderness. Upon reaching a suitable spot for a bivy, we established that my stove was broken (but could be put to good use as a petrol bomb against any invading evil spirits!) so we had to satisfy ourselves with a bottle of malt and a few rollies. The whisky further dulled our senses to any impending danger but we made sure to have any available weapons near to hand as we hunkered down for a broken, but not too cold, nights sleep.

Morning brought blue skies, sunshine and memories of the fear from the previous night were replaced by the beauty of the views in front of us. But still no functioning stove. Another rollie and some fruit and nut set us on our way, with two hours walk in ahead and the cold of the night still in our bones we were in no mood to hang around! Soon we gained the Col and traversed round to the Lochain. The lower couloir lay ahead of us, easy angled deep snow stretching as far as the eye could see, steps were easily kicked and before we knew it we were committed without a harness to tie onto or crampons to secure our foot placements! Fear returned once again; Will for his life, me for the trouble id get in if I came back without him!

It was clear that the upper couloir was going to be too soft (and another team ahead of us confirmed this) so we looked to the NW spur which was mentioned in the guide book as providing an entertaining scramble but no mention of its winter potential. It proved lovely climbing, and as the rib narrowed the situation became more exciting – although technically easy – before topping out just below the summit. Not to mention the views over to Glencoe and the Ben in the north were superb and a glimpse of Ben Mhor on Mull and Ben Lui in the south completed a fine West Highland panorama! We decided, in view of the previous evenings scares, that in our book the route would be known as Sketetor Rib even though I’m sure it will have been climbed before.

The day was finished by an easy traverse of the Aonach Eagach Ridge of Stob Ghabhar that took us back down to where we stashed our gear, and with all the problems in the world forgotten, we headed back for a pint. We ordered our rehydratiion and i noticed a great big friendly dog lying on the hearth, without a thought I went to pat him the and the bugger bit my arm, instantly I remembered the fearsome sight as its wolf like figure flashed by the window the previous night and i knew in my heart that I was doomed!!!