Austrian Adventures

Unfortunately, ive had little opportunity to scribble down a report of our trip to the land where the basement was invented and (inbred) babies are born with skis on. But alas, the ‘krac has been quiet of late so I thought id better subdue the chants of the evil fontites and tell you all about a real winter holiday!

So it was that Rieni invited me out to his pad over new year for some ski touring in the back country around the small town of Tamsweg. Along side the other visitors, Moritz, Gita and Hannas, we would be accompanied by a crowd of Austrian mountain goats who had been climbing mountains since about the age I started smoking! To have such an array of guides is something I cant be too thankful for. Not only this but Reinis’ father used our presence as an excuse to stay with his girlfriend for the week leaving his amazing house to us – a fact we were equally grateful for!

I was glad to hear that there was to be another boarder amongst all the skiers, surely we could share the pain of snowshoeing in the wake of those gliding easily up through the powder. Unfortunately I soon found out that Moritz was the Sports-Furher making Hitler look like Mother Teressa, and Arnie look like a soggy Sugarpuff; this guy was a machine and I was to be slogging up the hills all on my own!

Thankfully the first day was the worst as thereafter I knew what to expect and paced myself accordingly. I had also suggested that Rieni needed slowing down so he should carry my board, a suggestion I was surprised to see accepted! A wimp I may be, but I was now a lighter wimp! Day 2 brought us up a long gentle valley which was far less tiring and topped out on a beautiful summit with untracked slopes as far as the eye could see.

The first descent took us down an awesome powder field giving some of the best riding id ever experienced. It was so good that we went back up and burned down it a second time before hiking up the other side of the valley, which gave some steeper terrain on a similar quality snow. The only downside to riding untracked powder all day is that you have to go up in order to come down, and unless you own a chopper this requires serious effort! But, what can you do, powder is there to be ridden and when the opportunity arises one can not but oblige and beast up the hill until your legs explode!
On the morning of the 31st dec our Furher suggested a 5am start to get up b…… at sunrise and do a 1500m descent before breakfast. This is where I should have left the machines to their own devices and spent an extra few hours in bed. But that would have been too easy! Moritz was near the top before I had even finished my morning rollie and Rieni wasn’t far behind, but to see the last sunrise of the year over the Austrian Alps was a moment ill never forget. The descent was sweet although a little icy and we were down for breakfast at 11am before setting off on the traditional hogmanay tour up djd……. From which the views just about made up for the effort of a second tour in a day but the descent was not really suited to a boarder of my ability! Still, some sledging, a great meal and a ‘slumpppeeyyy’ fuelled party saw in the new year and we narrowly missed being up for 24hrs when my reign of elbow dropping terror failed to rouse anyone from their slumber!

Further tours brought some more excellent snow and a short trip through the mountains to visit the Herolds in Hintertaal brought back memories of untold carnage on a previous holiday to Austria and we did our best to recreate the banter with numerous Jaeger bombs at the infamous Alm Bar. On piste with a hangover the next day held little appeal so having boarded from Hintertaal to Marie Alm I jumped on a train to Bishopshoffen from which we went to Rieni’s Grans’ house. An amazing place where I could have spent the rest of my days had her cunning ploy to hide my passport succeeded. Unfortunately our plan was foiled and after another fine day on the hills it was time for me to head to Saltzburg where Gerhard and Julia kindly put me up for a night before I had to return to the dreaded lab where i have been incarcerated since.

Thanks to Rupert, Martina and Reini for a wicked holiday and to all the others there for putting up with my slow pace, incessant smoking and unnecessary drunken violence! Hopefully see you all in Scotland soon - where you shall understand the origin of the above traits!